“…In my shadow…lies the beast.”
-Reiner Ebert.
#4. This was my fourth oil painting and my second attempt at a still-life – My first being a cactus garden that didn’t quite work out because the light was changing fast…In the end I had to rely on my reference photos to finish this painting as the lines were disappearing too quickly!……Ok-Ok, hold on a minute! – Before you judge me! – Yes!…I have had experiences with drugs! – Not all of them! – And not all the time!……Who hasn’t?! – Think about it!…Lets be honest!…Alcohol?, Tobacco?, Opioids?, Sugar?!! – From politicians to golfing retirees to policemen to food-fatties!……Practically everyone I know!…The compounds I mentioned above, are all drugs! – They all cause a change to your physiology or psychology!…And they are all addictive!…It becomes only a question of legality. It is undeniable that even some illegal drugs have their positive uses in society…… I mean forget about the dangerous synthetic designer drugs!-(There are quite a few now that are of real concern! -And this is another topic of discussion entirely. Drugs will always be used and abused in society and we should allow people the relative safety of sticking with the ‘devil we know’ rather then being forced to use drugs that have been tweaked and re-tweaked with to allow temporary ‘legal’ sales) – However, here, I’m talking about drugs that come from nature…MDMA, LSD, psilocybin, DMT, Ayahuasca, cocaine, and marijuana- As well as their specific known health benefiting applications and their mind expanding properties, some drugs can help people to feel secure and come to terms with traumatic experiences or the prospect of facing death!.. certain drugs can make you more empathetic, loving and understanding towards other people! – Other drugs still, can help to put you in the creative flow!…Dropping acid has definitely helped me to see color more cleanly!…And who doesn’t agree that food tastes better when you are stoned?!…The potential benefits are in my opinion of more use and value to our society than the harm they pose to individual health…..Once, I had to write a speech for one of my best friends wedding……I was stressing about it for 9 months because I wanted to do better than just a good job!……One quiet evening and a couple grams of ‘la-di-dar’……Then suddenly, I could think clearly and formulate my words better!…The words just came flowing out! – A 10 page draft in under 3 hours…And it was the best shit I’ve ever written! -The reaction from the women at the wedding was fantastic!…I’m certain that If I wasn’t married I could have gotten laid that day because of that speech!…..Nah! – Seriously!…Think about it people!…If you were to take away all the drugs in our collective human history, you would be taking away all the great songs, writings and works of art of our time!…In fact, I would go as far as saying that the use of drugs throughout the ages have helped humans expand the mind and shape mankind into what it is today – A more open-minded, tolerant and caring society!…Isn’t that a far cry and a more positive step away from the repression and brutality of the past!?……I think I can safely say that drugs actually saved my life!….I’m so looking forward to painting my DMT experience!
“I sure do love cocaine!…The only thing I love more than cocaine – Is having sex while high on cocaine!”
-Reiner Ebert.
I am fully aware of the fact that my drug use has helped to fuel organized crime and contributed to the destruction of the lives of innocent people all around the globe. I am very ashamed of the fact that I have been, unfortunately, a part of all that!…That is why I am focusing on it in my art – By looking into the depths of my shadow and recognizing how my actions have affected others – Only then, could I begin to take responsibility for my actions and begin to change my ways. However,…I would much prefer if the laws were changed! – The absolutely unnecessary violence and misery inflicted on the lives of ordinary people in impoverished or developing countries, because of the never ending and increasingly high demand and consumption of these illegal drugs in the west!…By ending the ridiculous and pointless war on drugs – And making them legal…Power and control can be taken directly out of the hands of organized criminals!…Putting a stop to the war on drugs would also be helping to stop human trafficking, as the people who are profiting from the illegal drug market are the same people profiting from the trafficking of humans……Taxes imposed on the many people throughout the world who use these drugs, could help to off-set the damage that legal drugs like alcohol and tobacco and sugar already do to our society…The farmers who grow these illegal crops, could actually make proper money and increase the quality of their lives. Then there are all the lives destroyed by the incarceration of non-violent drug offenders, as this usually leaves the lowest income families with only one parent to raise their children, thus contributing to the cycle of poverty and gang violence…There are already countries out there like Portugal and Switzerland, who have sensible drug laws and have proved, with many years of data that there is a better way!….Lets face it!-When did you last hear of someone od’ing or picking a fight on acid?! – Or crashing their car after taking MDMA?!….The simple fact is, that around 7 million people die every year because of tobacco related issues…And around 3 million because of alcohol…All of the illicit-drugs related deaths, only count for around 750,000 per year – (ourworldindata.org) ……Remember how it went with weed?!… Just a few years ago! – And now little old grannies are rolling spliffs while knitting on their couches!
*Even though I have a lot of experience taking drugs over the years. My opinions on drug-use in society has now changed. Please stay tuned for future artworks delving further into this subject.
#17. Looking forward to varnishing this painting in 12 months time! – Colors and depth are gonna pop!!!…Like you could reach right in – Grab the gun and put a cap in someones arse! (joking! joking! joking!)…Turned out really well though huh?!…Think I’m getting the hang of this now!
……Growing up with my father was hard!…When he was sober he was the kindest, most generous person you could ever meet!…The only problem was that, he wasn’t sober very often. He didn’t drink the hot stuff – Only beer…He would drink his 3x seven-hundred-and-fifty ml bottles of ‘Melbourne bitter’ every day after work – And slowly, while sitting at the coffee table on his knees in front of the couch, begin to get drunk…You could tell when he was drunk by how his voice would change – You couldn’t miss it!…It was like there was two of him!…I will never forget that voice! It was pure evil… He was a master baker and a proud German…People would call him ‘Hermann the German’……But to my mother, brother, sister and I – It was more like ‘Hermann the fucking Nazi’!!……
……When I was a child, my father made my siblings and I work in his bakery…My father had gotten tired of training people up, only to have them leave after their apprenticeship was finished – So, when he realized that his kids were keen to help out their dad and could do the same job – That was that!…And I remember – At that young age, I was keen to help my father!…I remember a time, long, long ago, when I wanted to be just like him!……So, from the age of 10, my brother and I went to – And finished, our entire schooling, after working all night – six nights a week, like grown men…Grabbing an hour and a half sleep before the school bus came to pick us up – One of us resting on the flour bags…The other in the car, on the folded-down seats. A few years later, my little sister was also put to work after school, helping my mother serving customers behind the counter…….
……As I entered my teenage years, I began to realize life at home wasn’t normal…It wasn’t normal to go to bed every night at 6pm to get up at 11:30pm to go to work – Then go to school…And work some more after school – Cleaning the trays and preparing the dough’s for the following nights shift…It wasn’t normal to routinely fill 50kg flour-bags with empty beer bottles on a weekly basis…It wasn’t normal to have a domineering tyrant as a father……He had told me years before that the best way to keep your employees from turning against you was by turning them against each other. – I would realize many years later on, that he had used this tactic with my older brother and I…My father didn’t want to let us grow up. He wanted to keep us as children. I wasn’t allowed to go to late night parties with my friends, so I began to protest, which caused more aggravation and then I started to runaway…This caused even more conflict between my father and I, which continued until 1995 when my family immigrated to South Africa……
……Once we had arrived, I remember my father saying how happy he was that the windows in South Africa had bars on them. By this time, I was 17 years old and I hated my father!…I couldn’t stand him!…The constant verbal and mental abuse!...When my father went out drinking at the local bars, I would wish that something would happen to him so he wouldn’t come back!…One evening, he was late in coming home – My mother begged me to grab the other gun and go out looking for him – I remember how begrudgingly I went……His drinking had increased as he wasn’t working as much – Only a few contract jobs for various bakeries in ‘Sun-City’ and later in Johannesburg…….My older brother had moved into his own place…Things had gotten worse at home!...My father would often send me to buy his cigarettes and when I refused he would bring out his gun and threaten me…He would lay the gun on the table next to his beer and say “I brought you into the world and I can take you out!”……
……Approximately a year after arriving in South Africa, I left home to live and work with one of my uncles – I had to leave home….I couldn’t stay any longer!…I used to beg my mum to leave him – However, she would never do that! – She couldn’t!…I felt sorry for her – She was a victim 5 times over!……I moved around from uncle to uncle, before getting work as a semi-skilled boiler maker and working on industrial construction sites throughout the country…When I was 19, I had just finished a contract in Saldanha-bay, near Cape-town and was back at my parents place…It had been a while since I was there……I was not looking forward to being around my father!……One evening, around 7pm…I was in the living room watching ‘The fresh prince of Belle air’ on T.V……My father woke up…He walked into the room and sent me to go buy some cigarettes…I told him to go buy them himself…He insisted!…I told him I was watching T.V and I would go after the program was over. He became annoyed and started getting angry. Again, he told me to go to the store and buy him cigarettes…And again, I refused and told him that I would go in a little while. He left the room. It was this moment I realized that there was the voice! – Shit! – Damn!-Fuck!!…Did he drink so much that he woke up still drunk??! – I thought…hmm….A commercial came on and I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. I filled the kettle and started spooning out the coffee in the cup……Something didn’t feel right – I sensed something was going to happen. I walked to the opposite counter and pulled out a long solid knife from the drawer and walked back to where I was preparing the coffee. I placed the knife on the counter top and when I stepped back to close the drawer, my father was standing there with his arms by his side – Holding his ‘Glock 17L’ in his right hand. He looked at me and said “I asked you to go and buy cigarettes”…Defiantly, I replied – “And I told you that I would go after I was finished watching T.V.!”……He raised the gun and pointed it at me. I laughed and said “Go on then! – Shoot your son!”…He then responded by saying those familiar words – “I am your father…I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!”…….We stood there opposed to each other, for what seemed a long time…My father, still with the gun raised, less than a meter in front of my chest. It was this moment the kettle boiled and went ‘click’…I saw his eyes flicker…Instantly, I reached for the gun with my left hand – But I didn’t get the gun, I locked on to his wrist……He struggled to free his wrist – I held on and then he twisted his hand in mine, pointing the gun at me and then he fired off two rounds. – Still locked-on to his wrist, I then turned into him and pushed my right shoulder against his chest, hard! – Pinning him against the fridge along-side the counter. We continued struggling – I was trying to free the gun from his hand. I couldn’t. I saw the knife that I had placed on the counter and while grabbing it with my right hand I remember thinking. “This is your moment!! – This is self defense!! – You can do it Reiner!! — The evidence will line up!! – You will get off scott free!!”…..I was thinking this as I continued pinning my father to the fridge with my body…But then I remember the next thought that came to my mind “No!!- this is not self defense!! – You are in control here!! – It would be murder!!”…….As soon as I thought this, I threw the knife awkwardly across the room. Then I had the idea of putting my finger on his finger and emptying the magazine to make the gun safe. I proceeded to do this, all the while, struggling to keep aiming outside through the double glass sliding doors……In what seemed like minutes later – A total of 11 rounds went through the double glass doors in front of us, and two ricochet on the kitchen tiles in the kitchen – I could see through the now glass-free doors, our two staffi-cross dogs, were cowering in the corner on the balcony. Once I felt the slide click into place, I released the gun and let go of my fathers hand…Suddenly, my mother appeared from nowhere and grabbed the gun off my father – She bundled the gun up in her shirt top, holding the bottom of her shirt with both hands and left the room running as she went to go and throw it in the garden. Pissed-off!!, I started to leave the kitchen with my father berating me as he followed behind. As I walked, I felt something cold on the side of my left shoulder! – I looked down at my arm and could see two holes in my shirt and blood starting to seep through. I became angry, seeing one of my favorite shirts torn up and realizing then, that he had actually shot me!!…I continued walking from the kitchen back to the living room – My father still shouting in my ear…Passing the coffee table, I saw that there was a full bottle of beer on it and without thinking, I grabbed it with my right hand and swung it in a backhanded way, while turning around. It struck my father square on his right jaw, breaking the skin as his smashed teeth protruded through his cheek…I felt the force of the impact, as the bottle connected and he fell unconscious to the floor, with a fast-growing pool of dark blood on the carpet next to his head. I put the bottle back on the coffee table and then walked away, unconcerned whether I had killed him or not. My mother was running around wailing with her hands in the air as I stormed out the front gate and went to the corner store to call the police…..They came. The Johannesburg flying-squad…No bullshit cops!!…3 units and an ambulance. They surrounded the house as I was standing there being treated. My mother was begging the police not to shoot her husband as they demanded to know where the gun was……I remember how my mother began desperately searching the spot in the garden where she had thrown the weapon. I sat in the ambulance out front and watched on, as the cops were jumping over fences – Guns drawn, covering every window……I could see my father through the front door, still lying unconscious in a pool of blood which by this time had spread right down to his waist and I remember seeing the relief on the faces of the medics as they realized that the bullet went all the way through the side of my shoulder and seemed to only be a flesh-wound. I was taken to the hospital to make sure the bullet hadn’t hit any tissue or bone and where the doctor used this incident as an example to show a trainee nurse how to deal with this type of injury – Numbing the area and cutting the cauterized flesh away with a scalpel, then flushing with saline solution. Less than an hour later, I called my cousin to come pick me up.…..In the weeks following, my mother would keep trying to tell me that my father didn’t mean to shoot me – That it was an accident…But my mother wasn’t there in the room watching me trying to wrestle the gun from his hand – My mother didn’t see the look in my fathers eyes!…I did – And I saw fear!…In that moment my father felt my strength for the first time and he was afraid!…What would happen if I managed to get the gun out of his hand??…
…I went on to live with another uncle, and two years later, I returned to Australia, where, I would work in the mines of W.A, as a drillers-offsider. I would later meet my future wife in the ‘Lone-star’ back-packers and then follow her on to Europe, where I would remain…… Over two decades later and in order to protect her husbands memory, my mother would deny that this ever took place.
……Apparently my father chilled out as he aged…When my sisters kids arrived on the scene….However, I never knew him after that event……To be fair to the old man – While at his funeral in 2018, I learnt something horrific about his past, from his sister, which made me realize, that deep down, he was actually a good person, who had made a profound impact on someone else‘s life ……He was just an alcoholic – Which brought out the worst in him!……Life is never black and white. – There are all different shades of grey……One of the only regrets I have, is that I was unable to tell my father before he died that I had forgiven him . It had taken many, many -many years!- But I have.
“…The personality of a person. The ways of a person. The thoughts of a person. The deeds of a person…The actions of a person……Is all based around his heart. For what is a man? – A man is his heart.”
-Mohammed Ali.
“In the words of the great poet, Tupac Shakur…”All I want is money, fuck the fame, I’m a simple man!”
-Reiner Ebert.
“It’s O.k to have a dirty mind……-As long as you have a clean heart!”
-Reiner Ebert.
#18. Yup!- That’s me. A ‘DIRTY-FOOKEN-AFRICAN’…I’m here to fuck all your women!! – And steal all your jobs!! ……When the one you love, hurts you the most – And the friends you thought you knew, reveal themselves……’Sticks-and-stones’ motherfuckers! ……They are kiiii-nda right about one thing though!!… I do have a dirty mind!! – You know where that comes in handy??- In the fucking bedroom!!…It’s that secret ingredient that makes the pussy extra slippery when wet!!!…C’mon! -You girls know what I’m talking about!…The pussy don’t lie!! – Hey!!, If there are any rich Texans out there, looking to invest in up-and-coming artists – You better get your cheque-books ready! …’Cos I’m gonna be the next big shit in town!!
…… This is my first painting done from life. I was standing in front of a mirror which was positioned next to my easel. Man it was fun!- And much easier and quicker than I expected!……To be perfectly honest, I was actually dreading this moment for ages!…After all these years, working exclusively from photographs of scenes that I had set up and shot, I was concerned whether I would be able to do it at all!…OK – So the first day my brain over heated a bit – However, the second and third day were easy as pie!……Now I’m looking forward to getting some titties in front of me! – wink, wink!
“If we were put on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged”
-Michel de Montaigne.
“…The killer in me is the killer in you…”
-Billy Corgan. The Smashing Pumpkins.
#23. Wow!- I’m so fucking excited!!…I’ve just gone and pulled a fucking rabbit out my arsehole!….Geez!- I cannot believe I painted this one!….I set up this shot two years ago with the help of my ex-wife (Thanks by the way babe!- We fucking did it!)…We got up early every day for a full month trying to get the gorgeous spring light illuminating from the chair all the way to the suitcase on the right. It was bloody well worth it too! This painting only took me 37 hours over 5 days!- which means I’m up 4 days compared to what I normally take to finish a painting- Thank fuck for that!!…And this one is definitely a step up!….I cannot wait!…Hey!-Watch this space fellas!- I’m gonna blow the roof off this mother-fucker!!!
…”So, …..What the fuck are we going to do with those Jewish people??!!….It’s a real problem!….We need to find a permanent solution” ……These were the words posed by Adolph Eichmann in 1941, the year before the ‘solution’ to the ‘Jewish question’ was implemented administratively by the Nazi leadership. What was soon to follow were some of the most heinous, most sadistic and worst crimes, seen against humanity in the 20th century. I have always had a fascination with the atrocities committed in world war 2…Not because of some morbid curiosity, but because of shear horror! – And a desire to find out why?- Not exactly the question of why this could take place – I fully understand how corrupt leaders manufacture dirty wars. No. I’m more interested to find out why did normal people like me allow this to happen?? Why did some of my ancestors do these things??……And if I was born back then!- Would I have taken part in the killing??…Would I have stood by and watched??…Would I have ignored the obvious truth of the situation at that time?? – While lying to myself and those around me!!…Peering out the window as the ash came gently falling down – Muttering under my breath and to each other…..”Oh look!- It must be snowing” …in the month of July!
…Growing up in South Africa as a teenager left quite an impression on me. But the one thing that I’ll never forget- And probably has had the greatest impact on my life was when I was watching ‘The Truth and Reconciliation Commission’ on TV in the evenings sometimes. The TRC was established from 1996- 2003 and was kinda like a courtroom type body that was assembled by Nelson Mandela and chaired by Desmond Tutu. It played a crucial role for South Africa in the transition from the Apartheid regime to becoming a free and fair democracy. One element that was interesting- And to be honest, an element that not everyone thought was fair or just- But what was ultimately a necessary step for healing the wounds of the past…Was the opportunity for those people who committed abuses to apply for and be granted amnesty. This amnesty was dependent on whether the crimes were politically motivated or not and on the perpetrator giving full disclosure of their crimes including where all the bodies were buried or disposed of. I remember watching occasionally and listening as the proceedings unfolded…I would hear of the tortures, the disappearances…Learning from one police officer, I recall, who spoke about the monthly drunken police gatherings/parties …And what routinely took place…how it takes approximately 8 hours to braai (BBq) a human being! – I would watch on and see the victims families gathered around, old grandmothers, listening intently, quietly! -And finally finding out what happened to their loved ones all those years ago. Time and time again I would see white men taking the deal – With smiles on their faces, offering up the required information….How lucky they must have felt!- Being given the opportunity to avoid any jail time. -Too easy!!……..These men who would sit at the same table as their victims families, they would recount the details of their atrocities- Giving accurate descriptions of the torture and killings they had been involved with, in exchange for amnesty……But what I witnessed next was incredible!…After sitting there, sometimes for what seemed like hours- Listening to these men tell their stories. Often, I would see the victims mother, the sister- Or grandmother, get up from her chair, then walk right over to the killer of their family member and proceed to embrace him lovingly. I was blown away!!….I was young and didn’t yet understand how to forgive. But the magic of what I saw will stay with me forever. Because what I was witnessing was a man with what you could refer to as ‘evil’ in his heart – But what really is just hatred and fear….Who came there thinking that he was just going to receive a ‘get out of jail free’ card. But as he stood their being embraced – And being shown gratitude and forgiveness for the revelations the family so desperately needed. I would watch on as he broke down in tears sobbing uncontrollably – And was now being consoled by his victims family! …It was surreal!- This!- After listening for hours the details of his crimes!….All melted away!!- Just like that!…..That man who was a self proclaimed racist and murderer, walked in thinking he would walk out with his freedom….But he walked out with so much more!…His victims family gave him more than just forgiveness that day!…- They gave him his humanity back!……For deep down, he must have always known – He must have always realized! …That that ‘kaffir’ that he was torturing -That he was killing that day…Was also a fellow human being. ……And maybe- Just maybe!….The act of being forgiven is the first step in being able to forgive oneself and evolve into a better person??
…Those scenes have often played out in my mind as I transitioned into adult hood – As I was struggling with my own demons….Over the years I came to realize that the only way to convert negative energy into positive energy is through the process of forgiveness. – I knew that I just had to begin to learn how to forgive. It can be done! …It’s a hard and painful thing to do! – Maybe the hardest thing!! – The laws of physics state that energy cannot be destroyed- it can only be converted…. Negativity breeds negativity! – It’s energy is transferred and persists! …If left uncontested it will lie dormant and slowly fester – Becoming a part of your subconscious identity …Lurking in your shadow, waiting for the opportunity to rear its ugly head! …Negative energy can only be transformed with fore-sight and deliberate intent! – Learning how to forgive is a constant personal struggle that requires self awareness, understanding, humility and by accepting personal responsibility! – And by putting aside feelings of pride and seeking revenge! …Perhaps even foregoing justice altogether!.….It doesn’t happen overnight!...It is a process that needs to be undertaken over and over again each and every time!…. It takes a long time – A very long time! …But it must happen!! – It is the only way to break the cycle!
...Hmm?!…Maybe the black man and woman’s role on this planet has always been to teach the white men and woman about forgiveness???
…Ever since I can remember, since way before I was born even! The Israel Palestine conflict has been raging on. It’s back-ground noise. No one really gives a fuck anymore. Did we ever?? When problems seem too complicated and too difficult to solve, we tend to just push them aside. Not my problem!…It’s theirs…. It’s over there- Waaaaay over there! …..We chalk it down to religious or cultural differences…..Distancing ourselves….Not accepting any responsibility. But we do have a responsibility!..Each and every one of us!…You see, The Jewish question is our question!…The Palestinian problem is our problem!….By doing nothing we are complicit!. Does Israel have a right to exist??…..Of course it does!….We have already seen what can happen when a people have no land of their own!….(Let’s not forget what is currently happening with the Kurdish people)...It’s so easy for a people without an identity to be used as political scapegoats and persecuted by radical and psychotic leaders. …. The almost annihilation and extinction of the Jewish race by the Nazi’s, not only left a permanent scar in the history of mankind – But also understandably, caused the surviving Jews to become fearful and offensively hostile to any other perceived external threat…The Israeli claim to the land goes back 3500 years – Their land had been conquered many times in the past and they had been displaced and spread thinly around the globe. Israel feels they have a righteous claim to their land – For they are the chosen people!- The ‘children of God’.…However, what cannot be overlooked or denied is the fact that when the British decided to give the Jews a homeland in 1914, and later backed down from their promise… There was already a well established Arab population there, who also considered it their land. The Palestinians also have a historical claim to the land that goes back at least 1000 years, 1500 years depending on where you get your information – They too have a right to self-determination!
‘What becomes of the broken hearted’??- More often than not, the abused become the abuser. …..And now, surprise!-surprise!… We have a powerful – A resourceful… Technologically advanced -Intelligence based, economically influential and morally reprehensible Israeli state committing some of the same heinous crimes the Nazis committed against their own Jewish ancestors!….Only now- As a geopolitically and strategically important ‘partner’ in the middle east, with an ‘Anti-Terror- Surveillance and weapons-technology’ based economy and backed by another and even more powerful military ‘industrial complex’ nation, the U.S.A. -This conflict is practically assured to never be resolved peacefully!!!!.. It is clear the expansionist intent of Israel…Since day one -Even before the 6 day war of 1967…Israel promised America they would not take the Sinai Peninsular from Egypt- However on the 9th of June … The day before ….They attacked their American ally’s spy ship ‘The USS Liberty’ which was positioned in the gulf, monitoring the ensuing conflict….It was a brutal attack on an unarmed vessel…Blocking radio waves so no distress signal could get out….Their intent was to sink the ship so that the international community would not know they had taken the Sinai peninsular until after they already had it in their possession……They did not succeed – Only killing 35 US personnel and injuring over 135 others before an S.O.S finally got out…And it was all captured on tape by the spy ships recording devices…….And the American response of keeping the incident a secret so that the American people would not develop Anti Semitic views – Only emboldened Israel even more as they now knew that they had America by the balls- America would do anything- Even lie to their own people and cover up the murder of their own citizens to retain their strategic ‘partner’ in the middle east. The Israeli politicians have successfully merged the Israeli identity within the American identity…The world seems to overlook Israels intrusions into Palestinian Territory when discussing this issue! …Israel wants to suffocate the Palestinian people with their illegal settlement and occupation of Palestinian territory…It is even possible now in America to support these illegal settlements financially and receive a tax deduction for it!!- Can you believe that shit!!??……Israel is conducting a slow, systematic oppression. A ‘mild’ but deliberate ethnic cleansing. They are using their tragic history as justification – And accusing those who speak out against it as being Anti-Semitic! …..I am not Anti-Semitic!!… It just sickens me to listen to interviews of Israeli soldiers who justify killing Palestinian children, throwing rocks at them, by saying that they are not children but future terrorists!…..
Israel and Palestine are – And will be forever more interconnected!….Israeli state cannot exist without a strong, dignified and prosperous Palestinian state!… I know that the only reason South Africa was able to break free from the oppression of their Apartheid regime was less to do with the sanctions imposed upon them (It only made the Apartheid state more resourceful, which is why it lasted over 40 years) – But more to do with the constant and relentless international pressure and the fact that normal people across the world sympathized with and developed a ‘connection’ with Mandela and the South African people!…But Palestine does not have a Mandela or a Tutu….or a ‘Western friendly’ culture to rally alongside.
This is Apartheid 2.0. No doubt about it! ……I don’t know if there will ever be a resolution to this problem …. But I know that it is my problem. This is humanity’s problem…If we are able to solve this one- Then we will be able to solve any problem humanity will ever face in the future…..It has echoes of our colonial past….Of aboriginal domination and native Indian genocide.
…”So, …..What the fuck are we going to do with those Jewish people??!!….It is a real problem!….And we do need to find a permanent solution!” ….Well, We all need to stand together and call Israel out on what they are doing to the Palestinians! The media has to report the facts! – And also has a moral obligation to use the appropriate and correct language when describing what is going on so that people have a clear understanding….And …We must pressure our governments to strengthen the ‘Abraham Accords’ which has the best chance of allowing a sustained peace in the region!...We need to help the Palestinian people rise up against their corrupt and terrorist-funded leaders!…And we must let them know we care! ……I don’t know if we will ever see peace in that region in my lifetime. But I just hope that whatever happens, – If there are any descendants of the Palestinian people who remain- I just hope that unlike the descendants of the holocaust survivors- They are able to honor their ancestors who lived through the carnage, properly, – By not becoming like the perpetrators of those crimes!……By choosing forgiveness instead of fear!
The final solution is of course recognizing ourselves in others and resisting the urge to de-humanize them! …Seeking, learning and accepting the truth! – Which will allow for a better understanding… Then finding some humility and compassion within our hearts! – Which can ultimately lead to forgiveness and healing. ……I know! – I know!…Easier said than done. But still. ……It must be done!
*I understand this is a complicated issue (or to be more precise…That that is what they want you to believe)…I am using the above facts as a topic of discussion – Not as being representative of everything that is going on there.
“Ever since I was a child… From the time I was in Church…I wanted to be the Hero! – I wanted to to be respected…loved”
-Reiner Ebert.
#32. I painted this from life. I thought it would be a good opportunity to get some practice in. I wanted to see if I could simplify things a bit more and spend less time behind my easel. However, I think I’m going to paint this painting again sometime in the future, as I think the composition deserves a little bit more work, -Which I was unable to do as I was pretty fucked again while doing this. I’m not sleeping well lately…I keep waking myself up in the middle of the night humping my pillow!…I know!!-I know!!… I need to get laid again a.s.a.p!!!…
I sure do love cocaine!!!…The only thing I love more than cocaine is having sex while high on cocaine!!!…I mean fellas!…If yas enjoy bangin’ your wives…Then try banging them while high on cocaine!!- It’s way better!!!…Actually!…Whats almost as good! -But not for sex!…(Or you’ll give your dick a heart attack!!)..Is mixing a bit of la-di-dar, MDMA and a couple drops of LSD!!!- Man!- that shit is the best!!!…You can see people’s fucking auras!!!
So today is kind of a sad day for me!!……But also a triumphant one!!!…You see. I’ve made up my mind…And decided that I must stop taking cocaine!…I don’t really want to stop! -I fucking love it!!! -Some of my best moments have been while I was high!!…I love thinking on cocaine…It helps me to clear my thoughts and write better…And I can even paint on it without messing things up!!…But most of all!, I love to fuck while on cocaine!!! -That sex always ends up with giggles and high-fives!!!…But alas!…It’s time! -Time that I fully align my actions with my principles. I’ve known this day would come…For a while now. I’ve always been aware of what’s going on with the Cartels -And the destruction of innocent lives caused by my drug use. And now I can’t avoid it anymore. For a while there I was lying to myself to stop feeling guilty about it! -Telling myself that the more people that do it the more likely it would be for it to become legal…And the power would then be taken out of the hands of the Cartels and the violence would stop…But that shit ain’t true!…Nothing will change!! The status-quo suits the people in charge …and they still get their cocaine. ……Taking myself out of the circle of violence is my responsibility…My accountability.
I want to shout out to Kevin MacLeod (I think that’s his name)…From the YouTube channel ‘Disturbed Reality’ https://www.youtube.com/@disturbedreality8578 who’s channel this painting is named after and also dedicated to. I’ve been watching his videos for a few years now and they have really helped me to understand fully what’s going on in Latin-America. With his channel, Kevin researches the specific details pertaining to the horrific execution videos the various Cartel factions upload and then he breaks down and describes in detail what the videos show. I’ve never searched online for the execution videos myself, as I’m not in the slightest bit wanting to watch that gruesome shit!!……But I felt that it is my responsibility to listen to Kevin’s graphic descriptions. ….How fear and power can make humans behave in such incredibly barbaric ways!- Until finally it inevitably evolves into a sick and depraved sadism.
Over the years, watching Kevin’s videos, I’ve come to understand what true evil is. And I simply cannot be a part of it anymore!!!
*Even though I have a lot of experience taking drugs over the years. My opinions on drug-use in society has now changed. Please stay tuned for future artworks delving further into this subject.
#34. Well I’m so glad I painted this one again from life. I was annoyed that I ran out of energy the last time- Although the previous one was a good study. As soon as I finished this one I thought- Man!- This one’s gonna look good in my man-cave!…Maybe behind the bar!….But as soon as I thought that, I realised that this painting is much bigger than me…
YouTube channel – ‘Disturbed Reality’ https://www.youtube.com/@disturbedreality8578 (who’s channel this painting is named after)
*Even though I have a lot of experience taking drugs over the years. My opinions on drug-use in society has now changed. Please stay tuned for future artworks delving further into this subject.